A Meeting of Literary Minds
by DCUBoyMW
Summary: Literary Characters from books read in most American high schools have their annual meeting.


A Meeting of Literary Minds

_In a realm stuck between two worlds; the world of fiction and the world of reality, there is a closet. This dusty storage closet hidden in E- Wing of Maine West High School has been visited by many but most only in their dreams. _

_The morning of our story the silence of the closet is broken with a familiar sound; the blowing of a conch. This conch has been blown many times but mostly only in the minds of readers and in their dreams. Today it is blown for a different reason._

_A strange creature has blown the conch this day. A wooden pole with a head of a dead pig sitting upon it. He waits for the peculiar visitors he has called to come out of the many books in the closet._

_One of the book suddenly opens and two African-Americans appear seemingly out of nowhere and approach the strange pig-headed creature that is known as the Lord of the Flies._

**Lord of the Flies**: Why hello Janie, how are you, long times no see (_the pig smiles_)

**Janie**: I am good, my lord. (_She bows_)

**Lord**: Where is Cheese Cake this morning?

**Janie**: You mean Teacake—

**Lord**: Whatever

**Janie**: Yeah, he's dead. I had to shoot him. It sucked.

**Lord**: Oh, sorry about that and who is this gentleman? (_The pig looks toward the man next to Janie_)

**Janie**: This is Travis Younger, my lord, my current husband. (_Travis stands quietly_)

**Lord**: Well I'll be god damned if it isn't Travis Younger. I haven't seen you since you were a wee little thing.

**Janie**: Yeah he's my thirty-first husband. Some of them died, some I did not like so I just left. One didn't even like my amazing beautiful hair! Can you believe that my lord! (_She begins to comb her massive amount of hair_) So anyway, I met Travis here and he was from Literature too and one thing led to another and we were married.

**Travis**: Can I have a quarter?

**Janie**: (_Angrily_) No! (_She looks back toward the pig_) I don't know how long this is going to last though because he is stuck in this whole cycle of poverty thing but anyway so what did you call a meeting for?

**Lord**: It is the beginning of the school year. Maine West Students are going to start reading about us. We have to make sure that everyone is ready to start entering student's minds.

**Janie**: Oh yeah of course. We're ready.

**Lord**: Do you know everyone's designated roles in each storyline?

**Travis**: (_to the pig_) Can I have a quarter?

**Lord**: I don't have one, sorry. (_The pig then rolls its eyes_)

_Suddenly, there is a burst of strange orange smoke and out of it comes a green-skinned woman in witch's clothing. The three characters silently stare at the woman for a moment._

**Lord**: Um…Who are you?

**Wicked Witch**: I am the "Wicked Witch of the West!" (_She lets out a cackle_)

**Travis**: Do you have a quarter?

_The witch stares at Travis and then turns him into a frog with her eyes._

**Janie**: Shit! I don't wanna lose another one (_she runs after the frog which hops out of the closet_)

**Lord**: (_to the witch_) Go away, please

**Wicked Witch**: I am here to represent The Crucible

**Lord**: You are not in The Crucible; you are in Wizard of Oz! That is not read at Maine West even if it is a better and more interesting story than mine. They can not poison children's minds with tales of fantasy!

**Wicked Witch**: So? The Crucible has something to do with witches.

**Lord**: Fine then sit down and stop turning people into amphibians!

**Wicked Witch**: Fine, if your gonna be all crabby about it. So tell me what ever happened to the boys after they left the island?

**Lord**: They got in another plane crash. They all died except Jack who went back in time due to a rip in time and space.

**Wicked Witch**: Whoa! (_Shocked but with a look of interest_)

**Lord**: Yeah that's what most people say. Anyway, Jack ended up in London in the late 19th Century. He became deranged and began killing prostitutes thinking they were pigs from this island.

**Wicked Witch**: I have always liked him (_she smiles_)

**Lord**: Yup, I guess I did too considering he created me. Yeah, the author needed to have something represent the devil so I'm it. He made all the kids go psychotic for no reason because he wanted to make some point about how humans are all evil. Lame…But whatever. (_Rolls his eerie pig eyes_)

_Another book opens and a raft floats out of it and into the air. A tall African-American man and an adolescent boy are on top of it, as well as a pale skinned man._

**Lord**: Oh, here is Huck and Jim. But who is that with them?

_The raft floats down to the ground._

**Huck**: Hello, my lord (_Huck bows_) Jim and I have brought Boo Radley here with us. He called and said he needed a ride

**Lord**: Well, so this is Boo Radley, I have heard such terrible things about you.

**Boo**: (_angrily_) Well, all of those things are false. You would know that if you bothered to read the end of To Kill A Mockingbird.

**Lord**: I'm not much of a reader. But did you really stab someone with scissors?

**Boo**: They had it coming

**Lord**: O well then, it cannot all be hearsay then?

_Their conversation is interrupted by the sound of flapping wings. The Witch, the Lord, Huck, Jim, and Boo all look toward a book that has mysteriously opened to see at least ten fairies flying toward them. The amazed crowd watches as the fairies each land on the closet floor and grow to human size. The tallest and most elegant of the fairies approaches the Lord of the Flies._

**Lord**: Good Day, Titania. You look as beautiful ever.

**Titania**: Thank you, Lord. (_She does not bow_) We have heard the conch and have brought many with us.

_A short and odd looking fairy approaches._

**Puck**: I introduce to you the Lady Juliet Capulet and Romeo Montague.

_With the wave of his wand two body bags appear out of thin air. The group reacts in disgust._

**Puck**: (_Sarcastically_) Oh, come on, this can't be news to you people.

**Wicked Witch**: (_smiling_) I am starting to really really like this meeting.

**Puck**: I would also like to introduce the lovely married couple; Helena, Lysander, Demetrius, and Hermia.

_Two Men and Two Women appear out of thin air_

**Jim**: Which of them is the lovely couple?

**Helena**: We all are.

**Lysander**: We have come to realize that we all love each other and it is ridiculous for us to not all be married.

**Huck**: So you guys are all married to one another.

**Hermia**: (_Angrily_) That's what we said isn't it! This is the 21st century you would think people would not be so shocked by such things.

**Demetrius**: (_to Huck and Jim_) Yes, do we act so shocked by the fact that a grown man and a young boy spend all day together on a raft!

**Jim**: Because it is not like that at all! I am just trying to escape slavery and Huck here is trying to escape his father but we met all these crazy people on the way and we went south instead of North and then Tom Sawyer shows up—

**Huck**: Shh, Jim! We do not have to explain ourselves to these Shakespearian pricks. We are the GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL!

**Boo**: (_To Huck_) Oh, I would beg to differ!

**Huck**: Didn't we give you a ride here!

**Boo**: Your novel is full of racist attitudes. Mine is against racism.

**Huck**: A black man dies in your novel—

**Boo**: Your novel portrays Jim as a stereotypical black fool

**Huck**: You eat cats! (He sticks out his toungue)

_Janie appears with the frog in her hand. She has apparently overheard the conversation._

**Janie**: (_to the married group_) You know I have never been in a polygamist marriage before. Do you think I could join?

**Lysander**: You must apply by September the 31st.

**Helena**: After that, we will not be taking applications.

**Janie**: Okay! (_She looks to the frog in her hand_) I am sorry Travis; I think I am going to marry those people. I can not be married to a frog.

_The Frog croaks_

**Janie**: You see I was married to Donnatello from the Ninja Turtles during the eighties and things just did not work out at all between us so I don't think I can go through another interspecies marriage. I am sorry. (_A tear runs down her face_)

**Wicked Witch**: (_rolls her eyes_) But you are totally fine with marrying four other people at once.

**Janie**: (_to the witch, angrily_) You know there is a water fountain right down the hall from here and I know what water does to you!

_The Witch flicks Janie off. _

**Lord**: Alright, enough of this nonsense. We must start the meeting! Where is the salesman?

**Titania**: Dead sir.

**Lord**: and Gatsby?

**Titania**: Also dead.

**Lord**: Okay well let us go on with this meeting without them.

_The meeting begins and the strange group of characters all gather around the Lord of the Flies. During the year, they will be entering minds of Maine West students. But today they can rest and be themselves in this closet between realities. We leave this tale here as no one can truly know what is exactly conducted in these meetings. This can only be revealed in the dark catacombs of our imagination._


End file.
